It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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