so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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