OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
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Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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