If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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