lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
