He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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