dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
