no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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