you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
