strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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