we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
