I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
