dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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