he thought i was a dude.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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