once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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