A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
