Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Your cock deserves a montage
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.