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• (904): View more from Florida

  btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  i wish i had your life

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (585): View more from New York

  aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?

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• (897): View more from

  i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.

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• (347): View more from New York

  I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.

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• (550): View more from

  She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  We will walk in fields of dick.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.

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