Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

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(817): i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night http://tfl.nu/17kd

Replies (11) Good night (1383) Bad night (6249)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.

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(402): I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat. http://tfl.nu/6414

Replies (14) Good night (4469) Bad night (1148)
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(305): View more from Florida

Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water

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(305): Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water http://tfl.nu/p9in

Replies (6) Good night (2737) Bad night (1069)
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(214): View more from Texas

It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.

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(214): It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils. http://tfl.nu/mamt

Replies (5) Good night (1700) Bad night (851)
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(518): View more from New York

hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river

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(518): hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river http://tfl.nu/791q

Replies (12) Good night (2702) Bad night (861)
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(805): View more from California

I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.

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(805): I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close. http://tfl.nu/wx41

Replies (5) Good night (914) Bad night (2221)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.

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(309): I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you. http://tfl.nu/n7q4

Replies (3) Good night (2054) Bad night (776)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING

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(931): THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING http://tfl.nu/7m50

Replies (29) Good night (4216) Bad night (1124)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?

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(775): Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"? http://tfl.nu/g7e2

Replies (8) Good night (1914) Bad night (888)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook

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(303): Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook http://tfl.nu/i5be

Replies (5) Good night (645) Bad night (1623)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.

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(608): The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee. http://tfl.nu/13nr

Replies (3) Good night (2257) Bad night (513)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.

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(847): Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am. http://tfl.nu/1jpl

Replies (7) Good night (1065) Bad night (661)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.

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(506): Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression. http://tfl.nu/0vde

Replies (4) Good night (1005) Bad night (514)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year

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(720): Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year http://tfl.nu/fovp

Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (550)
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(478): View more from Georgia

Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip

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(478): Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip http://tfl.nu/4ady

Replies (0) Good night (195) Bad night (29)

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