sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize