You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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