talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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