Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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