what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
