Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
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No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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