I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
