if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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