my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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