woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
