Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
