That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
