I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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