Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
