it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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