I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
