Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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