You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
