What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize