I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
