I bet he comes in French.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
