Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
