Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize