I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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