I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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