I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
two words: eviction party
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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