I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
