Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
