Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Text me some of your sweat
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize