yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
