I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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