If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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