You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
