Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
