I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
