After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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