Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
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